My first semester university results just came out. As I've been telling people, they were slightly worse than expected. Of all subjects, I scraped a top grade on the subject I hated most, yet barely missed out on a top grade for my favourite. Why couldn't it be the other way around?
The arrogant little voice in my head has been berating me for not doing better, in fact I've been outdone by someone I never expected to beat me in a thousand years. I seem to be a bad loser, a worse loser than I thought I was. When I know I have the ability to beat someone, and I put in the effort so as to be able to achieve that objective, I expect nothing less of myself than total victory. It is when I actually put in the effort (which in itself is a rare occurrence), that I demand absolute, unquestionable proof of my superiority over others. However this usually only occurs only when my competition has proven worthy, that they are of a similar ability. When faced with tougher opponents I actually do not have quite the same amount of competitiveness. I guess that these people have already proved themselves superior to me in that area and I realize that I would be unable to defeat them. Also, when faced with inferior rivals I tend to be fairly complacent. I think this might be because of some inborn need for efficiency. Against superior competition, putting in effort is futile as I know I would be unable to overtake them anyway. Against inferior opponents, putting in effort is pointless as I already know the outcome. Hence only when faced with rivals of similar capability would I maximise my ability.
Of course, the above could also be attributed to sheer laziness. Why put in the effort at all, if I am so secure in the knowledge that I am more intelligent than most? Can't really think of any arguments for or against this point of view......... Fingers feeling heavy......... Why am I typing this?........ Zzzzzzzz........ *plonk**headfallsonkeyboard*
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